THE 300 BATTLE..

Something significant is happening today..We are going off to battle..

How could those persions(rip off from persians) think they can have our land.So i have to tell them whose boss.This is not any country.

THIS IS S-PRATAAAAAAA!!!!

So there i was..Looking at the land I am gonna leave.We are marching to battle and no one can stop us.Not even some lesbo oracle and few gay elders.We are going to battle..As i lead my troops to the oblivious danger that lies in store.I began to think about how Germany and Spain is gonna play in the finals.

"Sir,the persions approach us!"one of my men said excitedly.

His name was Little Boy Blue..Weird name..I know..Before we go into BATTLE!!MY FELLOW PRATANS!!!ITS TIME!!

CAMWHORE!!!!

We Pratans love to take pictures!!

Years of training couldnt go unnoticed.We fought bravely and won the persion army.Actually it wasn't even that hard.We fought like the men we are.Those years of doing pilates and yoga really did help!!!So we are done with the battle..And we have lotsa bodies for our disposal..What shall we do with them..HMMM...

CAMWHORE!!!!!

We Pratans are amazing in battle..We know junjitsu,judo,karate,kung fu,tae kwon do,wrestling and a couple of other style..See me?im at the right..Man!im great!

THANKS TO JACKIE CHAN!!!

"Sir,the persions have sent their secret weapon!!Your arch nemesis!!The Chai-minator!!!"Little Red Hiding Hood told me.The Chai-minator is the meanest baddest creature on the earth..He'll kill you using newtons law.OMG!!CHAI-MINATOR!!!!AND HES HERE!!AHHHHH!!!

SHIT!!!!Looking at him makes me angry..Wait!whats happening?!?why am i turning black and white???How come i can't see colours??Why is my muscles devoloping!!!WHY!?!Where is my FATS!!!I want them back.And i can't speak properly.What is happening..??Me don't know..What happen to me..Me hungry..Tiger Woods is not animal!!ARGGHHHHH!!!Black out me going to..ALAMAK!!!Me fainted!!

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Woke up only to see neither army is alive..What happen here..Why is place thrashed?Why me talk like this..How do me look like..HOW!!Me want to know..Camwhore me is going to..YAY!!!!!!!!!!

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HUH?Me is Hulk??!!Hulk is Me??!!Cool That Is !!!Me leave now!

(*credits to mus..me n his idea..the art of 'playing along'..for those of you who are wondering who Chai is..He is my sec school physics teacher)

I'm Jamal..

And i'm Hulk..

You are not..

Why Don't You Do Quizzes...

Recently a friend of mine asked me..Why don't you do quizzes..And i was like..coz they are stupid and boring..But she,aarti(thats her name) insisted that i tried one.So silly me took a quiz.

WHAT KIND OF UTENSIL AM I??

So i took the quiz and they ask me few irrelevant questions like is Tiger Woods really an animal and yada yada yada..

And this is the RESULT..

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I AM A SPORK!!!!WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET HOLY MOTHER OF GREAT YELLOW POTATOES IS A SPORK!?!?!

A spoon.Yes i heard of it.A fork.Yes i've heard of it!A SPORK!?WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE!

From where i come from a spork is something you say when you get tongue-twisted.A SPORK!?

Thats supposed to be good news??A spork in my opinion is a cooked pig in Singapore..

Spore + Pork = Spork..

And i can't even eat pork!!

And from the looks of it, a spork is a spoon with pointy edges at the front.

SPOON = Drink soup..Eat rice..

SPORK = Poke yourself and get hurt while doing those actions.

Who in the right state of mind will use a spork.
And ya..The descriptions are good yes but whats the description gotta do with a spork.

A SPORK KILLS!!!!

From the looks of it,I am not gonna try anymore not even the

"what puppy breed are you?"

WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE GONNA GIVE..

Ohh..From what we collected..

Jamal,You are a mixed breed between a bulldog and shitzu.

SO YOU ARE A BULLSHIT!!

Yea..Thats what they are probably gonna say.

(*Quizzes are good.But Beware.They may call you strange names!!And my friend just confirmed,there is such things as a spork.She used it before.So isshe in the right state of mind??You be the judge..)

I'm Jamal..

And I'm a Spork..

Hope you are not...

Nadiah's her name,finding her's the game..

So i recently talked to this girl from the southside district of Indonesia.Her name is Nadiah.

But keep in mind she look singaporean.Shes a malay and she recently visited my blog and told me my fonts are small and such.So this post is for you Nadiah.I will be describing Nadiah and those of you who don't know her,try to guess which one is she in the pics below.And keep in mind,this description are her thru my eyes only so no offense Nadiah.(i used green coz she has a green shirt with rainbows and such)

Same smiles..Thats what shes all about..

She smiles..with all her teeths out..

Her face seems squarish with a bit of circular.
When she smiles..I think she looks like dracula..

When she smiles..It looks like a grin..
When she smiles..It seems like she should tuck her teeths in..

So please smile with your mouth close..for gods sake..

Her teeths is so white and big..It almost looks fake..

Nadiah is a malay name..So cancel out people from the other races..

And with my criterias..look closely at the faces..

So where is Nadiah..Can you guess..

Which one of these girls did my description suits best..

These observations are from my common sense..

So Nadiah if you're reading this..No Offense..

(*its guessing time)

For those of you who just see pics and don't know whats this about..

GO READ THE ABOVE LA!

For the others..can u spot her..NEXT PIC!!

I bet its getting easier..YUP!!its pretty much a no brainer from here..

And those of you who didn't read and still ignore the info..

GO READ LARR!!!!HAIYOO!!

For those clueless people who read and still don't know..Next one will help you alot..

Guess you all can see it by now..Thats her..Im not gonna tell you which one..But if your guess is right..If you see her in RP yell her name.If she looks back and has a blur look.Thats her.And tell her."Eh!I saw you on Jamal's blog".Yup.Thats it for now.As for Nadiah.Well she wants to be successful and whatnots.She says she once shook hands with Donald Trump and Bill Clinton.Gosh!Thats so cool.Nadiah is cool..(ps:the fonts are big as she says my previous fonts are small and hard to read.Well this post is about you so your wish is is my command)

She's Nadiah..

I'm Jamal..

You are not...

Stupid Ideas...

So there i was..Awoken by the disturbing sound from my neighbours blowing their noses and sneezing loudly in their bathrooms.COME ON!!Can't they do it anymore louder..So i got up on my feet and grabbed my trustee lappy and sign into MSN!!WOAHH!!Lookie what we have here..Few people online..*irritating sound that goes after people msn you*hey!lyle is talking to me!!yay!lets talk.We talk about some random stuffs and...ok i show it to you..

Lyle : hey

J-mal : hey..wassup..

Lyle : dude i gt a great idea!!!

J-mal : what?

Lyle : lets invent a system that deletes stupid ideas..

J-mal : system that deletes stupid ideas??

Lyle : yaaa!!cool huh...

J-mal : dude..the system will probrably delete itself..

Lyle : huh?

J-mal : It deletes stupid idea man..and the system itself is a stupid idea..

Lyle : no its not..

J-mal : yes it is..it sucks man

Lyle : no!you suck!

J-mal : huh?now u are makin it personal??

Lyle : ya..coz yesterdae u said it was alrite..

J-mal : i wasnt even talkin to u online ytd

Lyle : err..yes u did..

J-mal : now you are putting words in to my mouth

Lyle : no..im not

J-mal : LIAR!!!

Lyle : NO!!!i dunno how to lie..

J-mal : dude...

Lyle : what..

J-mal : You just did...

Lyle : did what..?

J-mal : LIE!

Lyle : huh

J-mal : by saying you don't how to lie,u just lied

Lyle : ohh shut up b*tch..

J-mal : haha..ok

(*silence for 3 minutes or so)

Lyle : b*tch...

J-mal : what?

Lyle : B B B B*tch!

J-mal : huh?

Lyle : B B B B B*tch!

J-mal : haha..very funny..

Lyle : B B B B B*tch!!!

J-mal : B B B B B Blocked you!!!

(*blocked him..after half an hour i unblocked him outta good will)

Lyle : hey...

Lyle : You there??

J-mal : NO..

Lyle : haha..ok..

Lyle : so wassup?

J-mal : i said im not here arsehead..

(*we didnt really fight..that how we communicate like the barbarians we are)

So thats how my day started..By a decent conversation..How did yours start..?Did your mom nag at you?Did your sis sleep-punched you?Did your bro fart at your face.Either ways it will be fun to wake up unexpectedly..and be sure to have fun chasing bangalas 1 day..

See you guys soon!!Im going to play soccer..And just like me..be sure to kick someones ball.

HAVE FUN CHASING BANGALAS!!!!

You're quite something..

I am nothing..

I am J-mal..

Ok..Now Whats Your Problem..

Just like George Bush,I am going down.The late nights and long day activities have finally taken its toll.Getting tired even with long hours of sleep.Man!Thats ridiculous.So for those who had plans and i aborted i sadly apologised.These lepak sessions are just too tiring and the picture taking and all very tedious as well.Like you have to be in character in the picture and not just look good.What am i talking about??This is an example!!

See??Get into character!!We must portray the characters man..Don't really quite get it??

Get into character people!!Don't just pose with the same smile for all the pics in your phone girls.You need variety!!Even Terry can do it!!

HE CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU!!NO MORE SAME SMILE!!!

Coz it just seems wrong..I said it once i will say it again..Girls..They take pics and their face is alwaes the same..They don't smile only when taking pics..They smile even after it..And usually go..EEE not nice!!Take again(at the first time)..And then they take..But this time they like it..And when we guys look at it..IT WAS COMPLETELY THE SAME AS BEFORE!!There could be like 1001 pics in their gallery..980 are the pics with the same smile..Only diff..Background,head position,lighting,place,friends the pics are taken with..20 pics are the pics that are about places they visit and irrelevant stuffs like pics of feets and bags and new stuffs they bought,fireworks,etc..Which leaves us with 1 pic..And that pic can range from celebrities to thing that seem to have a relation to them like close to their name but honestly it doesnt have a thing to do with them..TALK ABOUT VARIETY!!

He's Terry..

I'm Jamal..

You are not..

.Back To School And Back To Boredom.

So school starts tomorrow..Yes boredom starts tomorrow too.Especially if your teacher is soooooo boring that if he had a heart attack in class no one would noticed.Those are the kind of faci/teachers that you will be glad if u are send outside the class.I rather cut the grass from a field with a pair of blunt scissors than sit in on his class.This kind of facis make hanging yourself seem reasonable and killing yourself seem like a breeze.So when you encounter this kind of facis what do you do... My solution is to..

.Keep Yourself Entertained.

I have encountered this kind of teachers before.So the best way that i've discovered to repel stupid facis is to keep yourself entertain.This are a few things that i do when faced with this problem..


1.Use Your Secret Mind Power

-Command people with your mind.Think hard to make someone do something.Like scratch their nose or something.Yes it is stupid but its fun when it really happens.

2.Pretend You're A Robot

-Move around the class with mechanical movement,adding a "zzzzzzzzt" to every movement.Not productive but still fun.

3.Rate The People In Your Class

-Rate classmates on what they wear and give 'expert' criticism(unsaid) on their clothes hairstyle footwear and so on.

4.Repeat The Same Word Over And Over

-Use A Same Random Word In Every Conversation till it loses its meaning and become just a noise.

5.Pretend To Be A Car

-Make appropriate revving noises as you walk or run along and add a racing commentary as you pass classmates in the class.

6.Make Star Trek Noises

-Stand by you class door or something and make that silly "Scccccccchwop" sound whenever people open it.

7.Invent A Weird Twitch

-Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out freaky cough noises) and try it out when you present or when you are talking.

8.Make A Low Buzzing Noise

-Keeping a totally straight face and looking totally normal, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.Awesome to do in libraries.

So i leave you guys here on what to do when you are really bored outta your wits by your faci.So try it out if you want..

Till then..

I'm Jamal..

You're Not...

In The Interest Of Fairness..

Hang out with Ron and Lina yesterday.Thon at my place till dawn from 930pm and only then we realised there was like a gay fag who spam on my tagboard..So todays post will be all about that gay fag so be honoured so called "fatbotakbanglafren"..Yes and even the font was coloured for you!!Purple..Yeah...

So i'm not a professional profiler but this is what i think about "fatbotakbanglafren"..
1.He probably has no childhood

2.He has no life.Thats why he does this

3.Everyone hates him.Coz everyone hates spammers

4.He has no fren cause even i have some bangla friends and he has 1 who is botak,fat and lame.

(have you seen a skinhead bangla.i haven.have u seen a fat bangla.i haven..lame??thats him)

5.If he has a blog,the post all are lame coz my post are jokes and he doesnt get it.

6.He is a fag.Period.Ta-Dah!!!

First of all..You don't know me..So you don't know i'm joking..So..You are a Fag to think that i'm dead serious talking about fat people and shit. I got fat friends and i myself have ten packs all combined into one.(i love to eat.WOOO!)Fat..??In my opinion there are 5 types of fat..Ok?i'll break it down..If u are fat..Put yourself in one of these catergories..

..5 types of fat...

1.BIG(you are not fat just big)

2.healthy(you are big and healthy)

3.Husky(those who work out.Like world strongest man like that)

4.Fluffy(1 name.Ruben Studdard)

5.DAMN!!!!

5a.Damn she big and hot.
5b.Damn she noes shes big and still wears tight clothes(that is also in my unexplained list of happenings like UFO)

As for the bangla stuffs..It made sense..As i said you are too stupid to think deeper..I'm a nice person..I blogged about you..I didnt even delete your tag..Gosh i'm so good...

So your honour..With that statement i hereby officially declare "fatbotakbanglafren" a fag and everyone hate spammers..I rest my case..May the jury decide wisely...

*Note:Fatbotakbangalafren was jokin too and fron then on we resolve the case.Simple misunderstanding.So just take fatbotakbangalafren as all spammers in general..but not him la..Wait..i dun think i make sense no more..Ok..watever..Spammers sucks.PERIOD*

I'm not a Fag..

I'm not a Spammer..

I'm Jamal...