This is for real.

My brain is just not functioning like how it used to be.
I think i am starting to get sick of some of the stuffs.
Im starting to do some silly stuffs even i myself can't imagine.
My mom caught me throwing my plate in the dustbin and me throwing empty cartons of drink in the sink.
I think it the lack of sleep but i really have no idea.



I skipped this part a long time ago.
I think it is coming back.
I need more time.
I need more sleep.
I need more rest.
I need the meds again.


I can feel my body getting sick.
From the burn in the back of my eyes.
To the slight irritation that is slowly growing in my nose.
I'm growing up but everything feels the same.
Gonna have one really hectic day tomorrow.
Its 1.50 now.
I have to wake up at 6 plus.
Schools at 8.
Ends at 12.
Make my way back to Khatib to attend a my close friends moms funeral.
And then back to school for fyp.
With PD, DS and 2 2000-word report to do on.

I'm Jamal.
It won't end here.
Your faith has to be stronger than your fear.

This is for real.

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Kill the director.

Lifes been busy and things been happening.
If it wasnt for Debbie Wong and Karl Maka's Song for Debbie Wong.
I think i might have lost it and went insane.
These creatures changed their minds alot.
These creatures changed their mood suddenly.
These creatures makes us weak.
These creatures are the motives why some of us are alive.
I will never understand this creatures.



I'm Jamal.
And here's another post about a gender i'll never understand.

I severely need to post this..

I'm Jamal.
Sorry for the lack of an update.

Afraid.

Finally done with my RJ and stuffs.
Schools been really freaking busy with FYP and stuffs coming up.
I have to come back to school on Wednesday even when i don't have school.
These FYP meetings are taking everything.
And the stupid NS shit are going to take my Saturdays which means less time for designs.
I think i may need a new direction and a new light in my life.
If you have read my Facebook status.
This was the design i worked on for like 1 whole day without sleep.
Before realizing it is not a good example.
I mean it may look nice and such but it is not a good example to
promote the product. So its back to the drawing board.




The final design did.
The image itself is not that good but i was too sick and tired
not mentioning sleepy to do it properly.
I need to really reconsider my designs next time.

I'm Jamal.
Everybody's got to hold on hope.
That's the last thing that's holding me.

Childish Mindsets..

I read an article lately. It featured a parable about a man with eyeglasses so small, they're unwearable. And the moral of the story is that everything could look terrible depending on what you look through.

Lotsa things happened.
I think I got the situation sorted out.
I mean its dumb to try and get me to feel bad just
coz i have a low tolerance in making people feel bad.
Well if some people can't see themselves in my shoes,
so be it. I can't change a thing.

You get angry when i try to change you.
But when i concentrate on my stuffs, you shrugged your shoulder in disgust.
What nonsense. Well your life is more important than my dreams and my interest.
So what if you can't make time. I have goals to achieve and i have stuffs to do as well.
Its not like im ditching you guys for some other people.
I stayed at home doing all my work.
When i finally got my stuffs together and try to pursue them seriously,
you think im not helping myself.
HAHA. What a joke.
I know it seems like im bad and stuffs.
But i too have dreams and hope i want to accomplish.
I am not a good person, i know.
But sometimes i just have to be selfish to get things done.

Why am i acting as such.
I think i was weak.
A little push and i was gonna apologize.
Well i don't actually need people who don't understand.
Its not anything i can take up anytime.
You wanna talk about responsibilities, talk to my teammates
when they find out why i didnt finish my work.


I'm Jamal.
We don't need hypocrites.